A. The Queen has arrived.
I have decided that Helen Mirren, as the voiceover of Sue Sylvester's number one Cheerio, Becky, is an inspired choice. I couldn't decide whether it was offensive or not (thin line, it was) while I was watching the episode last night. But today I feel that the beauty lies in the eloquence of a character that would otherwise be mute, so to speak.
And the part when Becky said she can make her voiceover sound like whatever she wants? Beautiful. I mean, I wish my mind could change voices whenever I want. I wouldn't be against it having a lovely singing voice either.
B. Schuester needs to die
Will wanted to propose to Emma. But, in his true douche fashion, he is too lazy to come up with his own proposal plans and instead enlisted the Glee kids and turned the proposal into an assignment. Emma's a lucky, lucky woman.
Will had second thoughts about marrying Emma because of her OCD. He doubted her and blatantly said to her face that he thinks she's gonna freak out if the baby spat on her Wednesday sweater, and if the house is messy. Of course, Will. Of course you'd tell her to handle all the household chores while you're out gallivanting around, being a total ass to your students.
Will told Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, and Santana that he'll never forget what he felt the first time he saw Ms. Pilsbury (after a flashback that's set about 2 - 3 years back). Excuse you, Mr. Schue. You were still married to Terri at the time. Add to that the fact that you didn't even consider Terri's feelings when she found out that she had a false pregnancy? Creep. Douche and creep.
Will asked Finn to be his best man. Seriously? I mean, I thought their relationship was great at first—him being a mentor & father figure for Finn and all. But really? Best man? Will Schuester, this is why you need to stop being a dick. You need friends.
C. Welcome to the pool, Atlanta housewife
Nene Leakes was great! Had my doubts, but man she delivered those lines and she delivered it good. And of course, "individual synchronized swimiming" took the money.
D. Samcedes is ON!
Sam's trying to get his letterman jacket back (and winning back Mercedes) by joining... the synchronized swimming team. Ms. Runi, you will be happy to find he is topless in a scene. Also wet.
Speaking of Samcedes, the episode started with Grease's Summer Nights (and before Sam started singing, Puck randomly kissed his hand. I'm not even kidding) and the duo sang about their summer fling. It was cute and all, especially cause Glee's been using the same school where Grease was shot.
Anyhoo, 'Cedes still have Shane though. So.. we'll see how this would play out. And although it seems promising that they'll build a good story for it, I won't be surprised if they break up off screen. Just like how Santana telling her parents that she's gay went like this: "Update, y'all. I told my parents and they're OK with it."
E. Double muthereffin Standards.
Rachel sang (a wonderfully rearranged) Usher & David Guetta's Without You in front of the Glee club for Finn. It was nice and romantic and what not. It was sweet, the song was good, and it was their moment. It didn't bother me a lot that they were being all lovey-dovey cause by now I'm fairly certain that it's not going to change and I've accepted the fact that Finchel will always make me gag.
I am miffed, though, about how Santana was only allowed a handhold with Brittany in the scene (which was sweet and I loved it, don't get me wrong), and how Blaine had to give Kurt a kiss on the cheek off screen (Kurt was sitting outside the screen. But it was still sweet and I'm not against it in any way) as Finn & Rachel got to play tonsil hockey—and it was a pretty long open-mouthed kiss. Like, they were eating each other's faces. I was surprised. Thought I was watching a zombie movie.
F. I miss Rachel Berry.
The old one. The crazy one. The one who wakes up wide-eyed—smiling in the morning. Who hops straight onto the treadmill. And who dreams of winning a Tony no matter what. She was the heart and soul of Glee when it started. The underdog who would come to a 10-year reunion and wave awards in your face.
This Rachel had sex (her first time!) with his boyfriend because he was feeling down and she wanted to make him feel better. What is up with that? (Although, can I just laugh for a bit cause Finn's first time was with a lesbian, and his second was a pity f**k? Hilarity.)
G. Too many storylines.
Says it all. Glee needs to remember that an episode isn't a Beetle they can shove clowns into.
H. Push and pull. And shove.
To the background, that is. I don't think Brittany had any lines except for, "Uh-uh," right before Summer Nights. In fact, she's been MIA for several episodes. She had a christmas solo, but no dialogue or relevance to the other characters. Not even to Santana. Remember that coming out episode where it's Finn who's "helping" (and by helping, i mean forcing her out of the flanel closet while basically repeating the same words that Brittany had said to) Santana? Yeah. Apparently the writers don't consider her important in Santana's storyline.
Of course.
Brittany is like... the new Tina.
Although Tina's had some great moments this season. Songs and dialogues and storylines and stuff. Maybe Brittany just have to endure the next 20 episodes in silence... and Brittana would have to settle with no interaction at all but a glance. A freakin' glance. In a flashback.
"Sex isn't dating," said Santana in season 1.
And the new writers took that quote up as a challenge. So it's now:
YES I AM BIASED.
But anyway. The best part of this episode, is that it's 10million times better than the several before. I know right? You might be thinking how can an episode with this many slams be good at all?
Precisely.
We'll see how the MJ episode goes. The promo actually looks promising. So.. yeah, 2 more weeks until that hot mess.
They better have Heather/Brittany dancing though. Like, real dancing. What's the point of hiring a girl who danced around the globe for 3 years w/ Beyonce if you're not gonna have her dance?
le sigh.